I'll grab the sun and the moon
I'll hold the world in my hand
These things are easy for me
I can't make you understand

Pulling rabbits out of a hat
All I get is polite applause
Applause, applause, applause, applause

Marvel at heaven and hell
Gasp at the Champs-Elysees
Raise the Titanic and then
I see you turning away

Pulling rabbits out of a hat
All I get is polite applause
Applause, applause, applause, applause

Entertaining, that's the word I get from you
Entertaining, and then you bid a fond adieu
Well, adieu

I'll make a pauper a king
I'll turn your water to wine
These things are easy for me
How come I can't change your mind

Pulling rabbits out of a hat
All I get is polite applause
Applause, applause, applause, applause

Zoo time is she and you time
The mammals are your favourite type, and you want her tonight
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You hear the thunder of stampeding rhinos, elephants and tacky tigers
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Flying domestic flying
And when the stewardess is near do not show any fear
Heartbeat increasing heartbeat
You are a khaki-coloured bombadier it's Hiroshima that you're nearing
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Daily, except for Sunday
You dawdle in to the cafe where you meet her each day
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
As twenty cannibals have hold of you, they need their protein just like you do
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Shower, another shower
You've got to look your best for her and be clean everywhere
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
The rain is pouring on the foreign town, the bullets cannot cut you down
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Census, the latest census
There'll be more girls who live in town though not enough to go round
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You know that:
This town isn't big enough,
Not big enough for both of us
This town isn't big enough,
Not big enough for both of us
And I ain't gonna leave

If you should die before you wake
If you should die while crossing the street
The song that you'll hear, I guarantee

It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
The number one song all over heaven

The one that's the rage up here in the clouds
Loud s a crowd or soft as a doubt
Lyrically weak, but the music's the thing

Gabriel plays it,
God how he plays it
Gabriel plays it,
God how he plays it
Gabriel plays it,
God how he plays it
Gabriel plays it, let's hear him play it

It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
The number one song all over heaven

The song filters down, down through the clouds
It reaches the earth and winds all around
And then it breaks up in millions of ways

It goes la, la, la......

In cars it becomes a hit
In your homes it becomes advertisements
And in the streets it becomes the children singing...

I looked a lot like a Vogue Magazine
Perfect and smooth, they all called me a dream
Flawless and loveless, no intimacy
I only lived to be seen
Not to be touched, too clean

Chorus:

Funny Face, I want a Funny Face
Funny Face, I want a Funny Face
Billions of dollars are spent on the face
Covering, smoothing, and changing the shape
Everyone wanted a face just like mine
Nobody wanted me
Only to look like me

Chorus

I'm ungrateful but I don't care
I hear comments from everywhere
Probably nothing behind the face
The face, the face

That was the day that I jumped off the bridge
Trying to end it all, I barely lived
Doctor Lamaar said "your face is a mess"
All of the rest you can guess

I got my one request
(He got his one request)
And I am happy, yes
(And he is happy, yes)
I got my one request
(He got his Funny Face)
And I am happy, yes
And I am happy, happy, happy, happy, happy

Funny Face, I got my Funny Face
Funny Face, I got my Funny Face

No, no use in lecturing them, or in threatening them
They will just say "who are you"
Is that a question or not, and you see that the plot
Is predictable, not new
But you're still stunned at the things you will do

No, no use in taking their time or in wasting two dimes
On a call to God knows who
When all you feel is the rain and it's hard to be vain
When no person looks at you
So just be gracious and wait in the queue

CHORUS:
So when do I get to sing "My Way"
When do I get to feel like Sinatra felt
When do I get to sing "My Way"
In heaven or hell
When do I get to do it my way
When do I get to feel like Sid Vicious felt
When do I get to sing "My Way"
In heaven or hell

Yes, it's a tradition they say, like a bright Christmas Day
And traditions must go on
And though I say, yes I see, no I really don't see
Is my smiley face still on?
Sign your name with an X, mow the lawn

They'll introduce me, "Hello, hello"
Women seduce me and champagne flows
Then the lights go low
There's only one song I know

CHORUS

There, this home which once was serene, now is home to the screams
And to flying plates and shoes
But I have no souvenirs of these crackerjack years
Not a moment I could choose
And not one offer that I could refuse

CHORUS

I hope it doesn't show
It'll go 'way
It's just a passing phase
It'll go 'way

You can dress nautical
Learn to tie knots
Take lots of Dramamine
Out on your yacht
But when you're all alone
And nothing bites
You'll wish you stayed at home
With someone nice
But when you think you made it disappear
It comes again, "Hello, I'm here", and
I've got angst in my pants

You can be smart as hell
Know how to add
Know how to figure things
On yellow pads
Answer so no one knows
What you just said
But when you're all alone
You and your head
What's the computer say, it's mumbling now
It says "hey Joe"
It's spelled it out and
"You've got angst in your pants"
"You've got angst in your pants"

But when you think you've made it disappear
You're sure you made it disappear
And you've still got angst in your pants

I hope it doesn't show
It'll go 'way
It's just a passing phase
It'll go 'way
I hope it doesn't show
It'll go 'way
Give it a hundred years
It won't go 'way
And I've got angst in my pants
I've got angst in my pants

The rain is falling down
I feel like a dog that's been kicked out into the street
I know that dogs can't drive cars
But that's about the only difference between us now
But wait, there's a rainbow over the freeway
And I think I feel the morning sun
Another song is number one
Golden days have just begun
Change. Every dog is gonna have his day
Change. Every loser's gonna have his way
Change. I don't care what other people say
Well, you can't argue all day long about whether love really exists or not
It's a complete waste of time
Like arguing about whether Santa Claus really exists or not
I got better things to do with my time
I got places that I've gotta be
And people that I've got to see
Mountains that I have to ski
Golden days ahead of me
Change. Every dog is gonna have his day
Change. Every loser's gonna have his way
Change. I don't care what other people say
Change. I know everything will be OK
Paradise was here, paradise is gone
Greece and Rome were here, Greece and Rome are gone
The Wild West was here, the Wild West is gone
Vaudeville was here, vaudeville is gone
Change. Every dog is gonna have his day
Change. I don't care what other people say
You know I've been thinkin' we'll get back together again someday
Your hair will be some weird color by then
Maybe we'll just start off again as friends
I wonder when
Change. Every dog is gonna have his day
Change. Every loser's gonna have his way
Change. I don't care what other people say
Change. I know everything will be OK
Change. Every dog is gonna have his day
Change. Every loser's gonna have his way
Change. I don't care what other people say
Change. Just ignore them and they'll go away

I like you and you like me a lot
And we do those things that can make us feel hot
Then we join some friends, all of them are all right
And we talk a while, then we climb in our cars

What a night, we all drive into town
Where we'll park our cars, and meet the rest of our friends
At a place that's called, I forget what it's called
But it's really great, and all our friends will be there

Popularity
Popularity

I like you and you like me a lot
And it's nice to be all alone with you too
But it's also nice being out with our friends
Cause they're all all right, maybe that's why we're friends

Popularity
Popularity
Popularity

I feel great, but it's getting real late
So I'll drive you home and you'll slide up real close
I'm so glad we met, and I like you so much
And I'm also glad that I got all those friends

Popularity
Popularity
Popularity

Something for the girl with everything
See, the writings on the wall
You bought the girl a wall
Complete with matching ball-point pen
You can breathe another day
Secure in knowing she wont break you (yet)

Something for the girl with everything
Have another sweet my dear
Don't try to talk my dear
Your tiny little mouth is full
Heres a flavor you ain't tried
You shouldn't try to talk, your mouth is full

Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Bearing gifts to aid amnesia
She knows everything
Yes yes everything
She knew way back when you weren't yourself

Something for the girl with everything
Heres a really pretty car
I hope it takes you far
I hope it takes you fast and far
Wow, the engines really loud
Nobody's gonna hear a thing you say

Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Where should they leave these imported gimmicks
Leave them anywhere
An-an-anywhere
Make sure that theres a clear path to the door

Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here

Heres a partridge in a tree,
A gardener for the tree
Complete with ornithologist
Careful, careful with that crate
You wouldn't want to dent Sinatra, no

Something for the girl who has got everything,
Yes, yes, everything
Hey, come out and say hello
Before you friends all go
But say no more than just hello
Ah, the little girl is shy
You see of late shes been quite speechless,
Very speechless
She's got everything

Zoo time is she and you time
The mammals are your favourite type, and you want her tonight
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You hear the thunder of stampeding rhinos, elephants and tacky tigers
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Flying domestic flying
And when the stewardess is near do not show any fear
Heartbeat increasing heartbeat
You are a khaki-coloured bombadier it's Hiroshima that you're nearing
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Daily, except for Sunday
You dawdle in to the café where you meet her each day
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
As twenty cannibals have hold of you, they need their protein just like
You do
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Shower, another shower
You've got to look your best for her and be clean everywhere
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
The rain is pouring on the foreign town, the bullets cannot cut you down

This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

GUITAR SOLO

Census, the latest census
There'll be more girls who live in town though not enough to go round
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You know that:
This town isn't big enough,
Not big enough for both of us
This town isn't big enough,
Not big enough for both of us
And I ain't gonna leave

I was born a little premature
Mom just couldn't take no more
Had no time to learn to cry
Goodbye, Mama, got to fly
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Entered school when I was two
PhD'd that afternoon
Never entered any sports
Didn't look too good in shorts
Got divorced when I was four

CHORUS
I've seen everything there is
I've done everything there is
I've met everyone but Liz
Now I've even met ol' Liz
No time for relationship
Skip the foreplay, let 'er rip
You gotta beat the clock, beat the clock,
Beat the clock, beat the clock

I did lots of travelling
Parts of me unraveling
The Army then rejected me
Said I had two flat feet
Wore them out when I was three

Too bad there ain't ten of you
Then I'd show you what I'd do
I could cheat on five of you
And be faithful to you too
But there's only one of you

CHORUS

Instrumental

Lawns grow plush in the hinterlands
It's the perfect little setting for the one night stands
Now the drapes are drawn and the lights are out
It's the time to put in practice what you've dreamed about

She can show you what you must do
To be more like people better than you

Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know she'll lets you know
Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know
She tells you so

Girls grow tops to go topless in
While we sit and count the hairs that blossom from our chins
Our voices change at a rapid pace
I could start a song a tenor and then end as bass

Choose your partners everyone
If you hesitate, the good ones are gone

Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know she'll lets you know
Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know
She tells you so

Dance, laugh, wine, dine, talk and sing
But those cannot replace what is the real thing
It's a lot like playing the violin
You cannot start off to be Yehudi Menuhin

Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know she'll lets you know
Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know
She tells you so

"Hello soldier boy,"
Oh boy, shes spewing out her propaganda, propaganda
Might makes right, though you're wrong,
You're right to fight her propaganda, propaganda, propaganda
"Come to our side", she does say
"Come on over", she does say
Well I don't need more
Competition for
Her affection
You should fight on
Fight on
Over there

Where's your will to win, to act like Gunga Din
Through propaganda, propaganda
Where's your will to fight, to know what's wrong and right
And propaganda, propaganda, propaganda
"Come on over", you will hear
In a voice that comes in clear
Then I think of you where the skies are blue
And I know that I must fight on, fight on, over there

Duck that missile, boy, that missile whistles like her
Propaganda, propaganda
Keep your powder dry and always shy away from propaganda
Propaganda, propaganda
"Think it over", she will say
"Jump of Dover", she will say
Well I'm not about to be turned around about by this tactic
I will fight on, fight on, over there

Oh propaganda, oh propaganda
"Hello soldier boy", she is spewing her propaganda, propaganda
"Hello soldier boy", she is spewing her propaganda, propaganda
"Come to our side", she does say
"Come on over", she does say
Well I don't need more competition to her affection
You should fight on, fight on, over there

Lack of subtlety defines our enemy and propaganda, propaganda
"Hello G.I. Joe", oh no, I'll never go for propaganda, propaganda, propaganda
There's a loved one back at home, who assumes that I'm alone
Saying no to lies, saying no to spies
I intend to be her groom soon, groom soon, over there

When I'm with you
I never have a problem when I'm with you
I'm really well-adjusted when I'm with you, with you, with you
When I'm with you

When I'm with you
I lose a lot of sleep when I'm with you
I meet a lot of people when I'm with you, with you, with you
When I'm with you

It's the break on the song
When I should say something special
But the pressure is on and I can't make up nothing special
Not when I'm with you

When I'm with you
I never feel like garbage when I'm with you
I almost feel normal when I'm with you, with you, with you
When I'm with you

When I'm with you
I'm always hot and bothered when I'm with you
I always need a shower when I'm with you, with you, with you
When I'm with you

It's the break on the song
When I should say something special
But the pressure is on and I can't make up nothing special
Not when I'm with you

When I'm with you
I never need a mirror when I'm with you
I don't care what I look like when I'm with you, with you, with you
When I'm with you

(REPEAT)

Something for the girl with everything
See, the writings on the wall
You bought the girl a wall
Complete with matching ball-point pen
You can breathe another day
Secure in knowing she wont break you (yet)

Something for the girl with everything
Have another sweet my dear
Don't try to talk my dear
Your tiny little mouth is full
Heres a flavour you ain't tried
You shouldn't try to talk, your mouth is full

Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Bearing gifts to aid amnesia
She knows everything
Yes yes everything
She knew way back when you weren't yourself

Something for the girl with everything
Heres a really pretty car
I hope it takes you far
I hope it takes you fast and far
Wow, the engines really loud
Nobody's gonna hear a thing you say

Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Where should they leave these imported gimmicks
Leave them anywhere
An-an-anywhere
Make sure that theres a clear path to the door

Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Something for the girl with everything
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here
Three wise men are here

Heres a partridge in a tree,
A gardener for the tree
Complete with ornithologist
Careful, careful with that crate
You wouldn't want to dent Sinatra, no

Something for the girl who has got everything,
Yes, yes, everything
Hey, come out and say hello
Before you friends all go
But say no more than just hello
Ah, the little girl is shy
You see of late shes been quite speechless,
Very speechless
She's got everything

Instrumental

This is the number one song in heaven
Written, of course, by the mightiest hand
All of the angels are sheep in the fold of their master
They always follow the Master and his plan

This is the number one song in heaven
Why are you hearing it now, you ask
Maybe you're closer to here than you imagine
Maybe you're closer to here than you care to be

This is the number one song in heaven
Written, of course, by the mightiest hand
All of the angels are sheep in the fold of their master
They always follow the Master and his plan

This is the number one song in heaven
Why are you hearing it now, you ask
Maybe you're closer to here than you imagine
Maybe you're closer to here than you care to be

When she's on her best behavior
Don't be tempted by her favors
Never turn your back on mother earth
Towns are hurled from A to B
By hands that looked so smooth to me
Never turn your back on mother earth
Grasp at straws that don't want grasping
Gaze at clouds that come down crashing
Never turn your back on mother earth
Three days and two nights away from my friends
Amen to anything that brings a quick return to my friends
To my friends
Never turn your back on mother earth
I'll admit I was unfaithful
But from now I'll be more faithful
Never turn your back on mother
Never turn your back on mother
Never turn your back on mother earth